Hi! I'm bouncing around between two ideas: serial killer and zombies. I know, how original, right? ^_^

What are the absolute worst horror cliches that just make you facepalm in said subgenres?

The ones I have:

Serial killer:
-cell phone out of service or dead battery
-main cast of slutty girls and horny guys
-the "token black guy" that always dies
-sex = death
-"Hey everyone, let's separate so it'll be easier for the killer to catch us!"
-"What's the noise? I'll grab this flashlight but pass by this shotgun and investigate."
-the two sole survivors are the main couple and the movie ends with them engaging in a tongue war (bloody faces optional).
-OR the main couple are the last two remaining and the girl witnesses her boyfriend die the bloodiest death of them all and then slaughters the killer with his own weapon.

Zombie:
-guy bitten keeps it hidden and turns at the worst time
-the guy in a suit who's a jerk to everyone and is the last to turn into a zombie
-"This door is locked. Let's bust it down. OH, &%#^ ZOMBIES!"
-they never say the "Z" word, only use words like 'dead,' 'infected,' or some made up word ('walkers').
-always takes place in a separate universe where no one has ever seen a zombie movie.
-arguing over shooting an infected loved one before they turn.

Haunted house: no matter how much weird $%*! is going on, the family in the haunted house absolutely refuses to leave or even call the cops. (Though this also applies to serial killers or zombies--really, any situation where getting the hell out of there or calling in the proper authorities would make any sort of difference, the idiot main characters never do.)

spider webs,
dark alleys
sewers
rats

snakes or snake like appendages.

red blood, black blood, green slime

mystic symbols painted in bright paint on walls, mirrors, doors.
taunting messages ditto.

So the anti-cliches are bright sunny days, beautiful devils and smiles.

@Simply_Complex: There are certain regular tropes we see in these subgenres and when characterisation is poor, or the "world" the story happens in is poorly articulated they do play as "paint by numbers".

However at least some of them serve a purpose in filmmaking. For example the "Hey everyone, let's separate so it'll be easier for the killer to catch us!" which is extremely common is usually a neccessary evil. Most horror films have larger cast to provide cannon fodder for the killer/monster, these casts are of course paid for their time and splitting them up means you do not have to pay every cast member for every day of filming. On micro budget/shoestring stuff (which many horrors are)this can be critical to the financing.

@Idegroff - what colour do you propose having people's blood be, if it can't be red or black or green?

"Oh no someone is chasing me... Where will I go?... I know UPSTAIRS!!!!!"

I have those three anti cliches... hadn't really thought about it.

I really don't know why we don't have more beautiful devils.

I think your anti-cliches might be cliches in their own right. How many times have we seen, basically:

EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD - AFTERNOON

Everything looks calm and peaceful. Children play happily as et cetera etcetera blah blah blah
?

All part of setting it up so that when the horror happens, it's "unexpected." Because people forget what movie they went to see? Or maybe they just say "Two, please," and let the movie be a surprise?

Actually, that sounds like a good idea. I might be more entertained if I don't already have a detailed ideas of what cliches to expect....

Horror by suspense with out blood....but perhaps bright blue with yellow sparkles.
silvery gray might work too. You really know you are in trouble when your blood is bright blue.

Well, you could be in trouble or just posh...

XD

Incredibly long exposition for no apparent reason to explain why the killing is happening.